Do you struggle with a harsh, self-critical voice telling you that you need to be perfect in order to be loved or accepted? Is shame and fear holding you back in some way? Do you wonder if there’s something wrong with you or lacking? If so, you’re not alone in this very human struggle. Often times, we are our own worst critics.
Being overly self-critical and having unrealistic expectations of yourself can suck the joy out of life and cause you to be unavailable for satisfying relationships with self and others. Furthermore, being highly self-critical can be a constant source of distress and lead to procrastination that leaves you even further away from your goals and the life you’d like to live.
We can mistakenly think that being hard on ourselves is required for us to do well. However, research has shown us that the opposite is true. Studies have shown that self-criticism makes us more vulnerable during times of failure and less likely to take in the lessons from our failures.
The superior alternative to self-criticism is self-compassion, which is simply treating oneself as one would a good friend. Self-compassion involves being mindful, kind, and understanding of our situation and humanness, leaving us stronger and more resilient over time.
Through self-compassion you can learn to become your own ally. You can practice accepting yourself no matter who you are. If you’re interested in learning more about this topic, check out this website: www.self-compassion.org.
If you’re ready to start this important work, reach out to inquire about scheduling an appointment.